Doin’ It BIG: Thoughts on FOX’s More to Love

You have to hand it to FOX—when it comes to reality television, they just keep pushing the envelope. Remember The Swan, where supposedly ugly women underwent extensive plastic surgery and then competed against each other in a beauty pageant? How about The Littlest Groom? And who could possibly forget the incredible Man vs. Beast, which boasted such “challenges” as a group of 44 dwarves competing against an Asian Elephant to pull a commercial jet? With the new series More to Love, which premiered Tuesday, FOX aims to continue its reality legacy, this time bringing us a show about a 300-lb. bachelor looking for his plus-sized soulmate.

As a connoisseur of trashy reality TV, I’ve eagerly awaited this new arrival, and the first episode did not dissapoint. Compared to The Swan, the show’s premise is actually pretty benign, and although the editing does lean a little heavily on the “fat girls crying into the camera” thing, More to Love doesn’t seem overtly concerned with exploiting its contestants. What a surprise! Also surprising was that, dare I say it, I found myself strangely attracted to some of the contestants. I think as I’ve grown older, my standards have decreased considerably, because I definitely would smash some of these chicks. I guess dating them would be another story, but who knows! I know one thing: the dude on this show has it made. This guy can hit the club any day of the week and go home with a fine-ass woman (at least in his eyes.) The girl will be grateful he’s not checking for her skinny friends, and there’ll be a hell-of-a-lot less competition from the other fellas. And the guy doesn’t have to lower his standards to do it, because big girls are actually his thing! Makes me wish I had his tastes. Perhaps I just have to acquire them. Well, here goes step one. Drumroll, please!

Girls of More to Love That I Would Smash

Amanda -- 510, 235 lbs.

Amanda -- 5'10," 235 lbs.

Maybe it’s just the Armenian in me, but I would knock boots with this olive-skinned cutie. Am I right, Delanian?

Anna (plus-size model)

Anna (plus-size model)

I don’t have stats for this one, but she looks kind of like a fatter Emily Blunt. She can get it.

Arriane

Arriane

Pronounced “Aryan,” as in “the Aryan Race.” Again, no stats, but she’s one of the thinner contestants, and her body type is looking just right.

Natasha -- 5'7," 197 lbs.

I’m kind of on the fence about this one. If she’d just stop mentioningĀ  that she’s a rocket scientist every five minutes, I’d probably smash.

Shari

Shari

This chick was one of the older contestants, and she got voted off at the end of the episode, but if you ask me the guy fucked up. I’d definitely hit it.

Vanessa -- 58, 194 lbs.

Vanessa -- 5'8," 194 lbs.

I threw this one in more for my fellow contributor, ’cause I know he likes the curvy Latinas. But I’d probably hit it if she asked me in Spanish.

Lauren, 59, 210 lbs.

Lauren, 5'9," 210 lbs.

This picture makes her look like a tranny, but she looked better on the show. Really. Kind of like a thicker Mariah Carey.

Malissa A., 54, 170 lbs.

Malissa A., 5'4," 170 lbs.

Again, the picture does not do this girl justice. She seems like a cool girl, and she speaks Spanish without an accent, so you know I’m sold. One of my favs.

Mandy, 57, 180lbs.

Mandy, 5'7," 180lbs.

Yes! This chick is not even that big. She looks kind of like a thicker Bebe Neuwirth, which I definitely dig. And she’s a fitness trainer!

Bonnie, 215 lbs.

Bonnie, 5'11,"215 lbs.

Again, yes! This chick is actually one of the thicker contestants, but she has the style and confidence that a lot of these other girls are lacking. Also, she just seems like a cool-ass broad. And I’m digging those tats. Bonnie can get it for sure.

Alright, well that’s my list. I’d love to hear your comments on my choices.

Watch the first episode of More to Love.

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4 Responses to Doin’ It BIG: Thoughts on FOX’s More to Love

  1. Alex says:

    you’re disgusting

  2. stretchcorleone says:

    ^ haha.

    And props for including Vanessa. Before I even read the caption I said to myself “I would totally hit that”. You know me well, sir.

  3. stretchcorleone says:

    Oh, and I’d totally bone the first 3 as well.

  4. Max says:

    Incredible posting

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